Insanity

Everything is a mess,
Around, within;
Tangled vines of lies and pretense
Choking the remaining light.

How-
Then how do we find our path,
Which path leads where.
It’s all too dark,
Air too thick to breathe.

Voices get louder,
Thoughts fade,
Noise, piercing distortion,
Sanity begging on knees.

I hear laughter
Mocking in my face,
A distorted, unrecognisable face.
Insanity? Is that what it looks like?
No, I think I am fine, right?

Followed

I am followed by an entity
who looks exactly like me,
but she chooses to grin at my miseries
while I choose to look away.
She has my skin type but somehow
mine looks faltered and cracked
while hers runs smoothly like a river
never running dry. At night
when I twist and turn on my bed
unable to fall asleep,
cursing every single nerve in my brain,
she sings me an ominous song
and peacefully watches me
writhe on the creases of my bedsheet.

Stranger at Dawn

There is a crack in my voice
Underneath this sanguine filter,
And it usually gets louder at night
When I lie awake in my bed
Inhaling the darkness
And exhaling the light.
There is heaviness in my sighs;
Words which get stuck
In my throat- slashing
My veins if I force them out.
So, I don’t. I let them settle in
Until they burn my insides
And the smoke comes out
From my nostrils;
Rising up to form a cloud
To drench me in rancid rain
And I melt, absorbing
This stinging pain.
Every night I dissolve,
To come out at dawn,
Feeling like someone else
Like I don’t belong at all.

Last Breath

When I say my last goodbye,
where would you go?
Would you take off with your weightless toes
and dive in the clouds?
Or would you climb the stairs
and look for another life?
Would you look back at my cindered bones
and smile?
Or would you lose me to oblivion?

Because trust me, at that time
I’d want to hold you one more time.
But I’d be dust by then.
So, I ask you today
as I write this ode to you,
“Do I mean anything at all,
or am I just another vessel to you?”

Because when I say my final goodbye,
I’d want you to look at my motionless eyes,
and say, “I love you too”.
And I swear,
you’d find my heart come back to life
one last time for you.